THE FOUR LAWS OF CHANGE.
- 1. Change comes from within. It’s an inside job. The process of change can be different for every one of us but one thing is always certain. Any change will always come from within the individual, from within the group, and/or from within the organization. Ideally, the change will be like a pebble thrown into a lake where the change will ripple from within all of these configurations. We can all thing of something that we would like to change within ourselves that we feel would make us a better person, but thoughts will not initiate that change. We must follow these thoughts with a rigorous plan of action.
What would you like to change about yourself?
What’s the first step towards making that change?
Who in your support network can help you towards this?
What are the barriers towards making this change?
2. Permanent change requires a vision. This means that unless we hold a clear and/or compelling picture of what the change that needs to occur is, the initial insight or energy or reason for changing will fade into the background until triggered by the next difficult reminder and/or painful event. This is all too common in the world and I ‘m sure that a number of you have had moments of clarity when you have been met with a situation or event or person that has thrown a little curve ball your way and sparked off all manner of negative thoughts, feelings and emotions. Recovery is all about action and always moving forward with positive steps no matter how big or small.
Think of a situation where this has happened to you?
What could you have done differently in that situation?
Who could have helped you with the situation?
What will you do differently next time?
How will this affect you and those around you?
- 2. A great learning must occur. This means that change is accompanied by a personal insight or a group awareness that is shared with the larger community. We are all about sharing our hopes and fears in a recovery community and this in turn helps others to learn from our lessons and be inspired by our successes. For an individual, this could be an insight that they are actually creating most of their problems by how they behave towards others. So as to make it a permanent change, the person needs to share it with others, who in turn will support them in the change. This is the essence of a recovery community. It’s not all about sharing the positive stuff but the negative stuff as well. There is great insight and options for learning in both. An individual does not achieve greatness and wisdom by perfection, but by making mistakes he will learn so much, providing he has the capacity and the humility to learn from each mistake. In doing this you are working towards being the best person you can be.
Think of a mistake you have made recently?
How did it make you feel?
How did it affect others around you?
What lesson did you take from it?
What could you have done differently?
For an organization or group, it could be a shared awareness that each person within the organization is responsible for how the organization functions, each individual has assets that can be utilised for the greater benefit of the organisation and / or group. What grounds the change is that the insight or shared awareness becomes the responsibility of the organisation / group to sustain and support the changes.
Make a list of your existing assets?
Make a list of your desired assets?
How as an individual can you use those assets for your own recovery and in the community?
How can the group support them?
- 3. A positive social network must be created. This means that for any change to be achievable and permanent the individual must have the support of the group and the larger community. For an individual, it could mean that the insight or vision is shared with family and friends and any other individual within the persons support network. For a group, it could be that the change is shared firstly with the members of the group and then with people outside the group who can support the changes. Sharing positive change has positive outcomes and inspires people to look at how that change could affect them. It gives people hope to hear that change is possible and also gives them something to aspire to. Also sometimes change is so subtle that we do not see or feel it happening but others around us do. When someone stops you in the street and gives you a compliment it can sometimes lift your spirits quite significantly. This can also take away the feelings that can set in where we begin to feel nothing has changed, when in fact it has.
List 5 people who you would have in your support network?
List 5 more?
Share something positive that you have achieved in your recovery so far?
List 5 things you would like to achieve in your recovery over the next 6 months?
These four laws of change are simple and altruistic in their nature and improve our communication skills, our self esteem, our confidence and our respect both for ourselves and for others. Those feelings of isolation and loneliness, of feeling less than and worthless begin to be replaced by feelings of unity, togetherness, purpose and positivity. Remember change always works from the inside out and is supported fully be those around you so connecting to a positive recovery community full of likeminded people will enable you to be honest open minded and willing to share and to support others who are on the same journey. This is a journey of self discovery that is better served in the company of those who understand where you’ve come from, know where you are heading and will walk alongside you until you get there. We make the path by walking it.